Alan Watts
I am always sincere, but never serious.
—Alan Watts
When I started my first professional blog, I struggled to give it a name. While I thought I could offer helpful information, the truth about writing advice is that it’s only helpful if you’re the kind of writer who benefits from it. Not all writers do (or can). Plus there are always exceptions to each piece of advice.
That’s why I ended up calling the blog There Are No Rules. (I’ve made an archive of the best posts—click here.)
My hope was that even if people read a lot of my prescriptive advice, the name of the blog itself would offer a meta-commentary—or a wink and a nod—that I’m playing the advice game, and you’re allowing me to play the game by listening and granting me some kind of authority.
A personal anecdote: I grew up in a family that didn’t crack many jokes. In fact, I was always afraid of people making jokes around me, because I was the sort of person who easily served as the target. (I was the biggest nerd in school.) I hesitate to say I grew up humorless, but it took a while before I knew how to relax. This dynamic still comes into play when I’m among strangers. Since my default is sincerity, especially in unfamiliar situations, I also take everything said as sincere, and sometimes I realize a few seconds too late that what I’m hearing is a joke. There are times when people even have to explicitly state—upon seeing the reaction on my face—”I’m joking.”
I’m afraid this can make me very dull at parties. I’m sincere to a fault.
However, I am not serious, and the Alan Watts quote above is one of my very favorites. Every once in a while I like to remind people: Know that I’m sincere, but never serious. Forge your own path; write your own rules.
Probably the ultimate rule to end all rules when it comes to writing…”Nobody knows anything.”
It’s scary to be a world all to yourself, and no one can tell you anything for sure. But that’s life. It’s freeing in a way. Lets you do your own thing and have fun. I think so anyway. 🙂
Good post.
Thanks! 🙂
My favorite posts are when you offer insight into Jane. And I’m so glad I read this one. Now I can prepare you for your visit down South: Prepare to relax. And know in advance, we are almost always joking.
Very much looking forward. 🙂
Oh…I am a huge Alan Watts fan! Thank you for bringing him back to the front of my cerebral cortex!
Yay! I could listen to him lecture all day.
Your sincerity is a gift. How could it be otherwise? I have certainly relied on it. It’s also what makes you trustworthy and honorable. 🙂
Indeed, I hope so. 🙂
Oh, dear. Now I feel guilty, because I’m almost always in joke mode. Hmm. Whenever you see a comment from me, don’t put a lot of effort into understanding it. Just type “LOL” and I’ll be happy.
And as Darrelyn says, we enjoy the posts that talk about you, yourself. It’s like having coffee with the prof, who turns out to be a fun gal. :)TX
Oh, you have no need to worry! (Although, speaking strictly as a writing professor, when it comes to online communication, tone/humor can be exceptionally difficult to convey.)
But thank you!
Nerd isn’t a bad thing, I grew up a nerd, geek, four eyes, and any number of other name calling. Serious is is over rated and I love a good joke, but like you, they are often over my head and I don’t get it until it’s spelled out.
Enjoy your advice. Thanks for your effort
Thanks, Lori!
Jane, your No Rules posts have been invaluable over time, and they pulled a smile from me more than once. Besides, I’m sure your bourbon habit could be a useful party aid…
🙂 It is!
I freaking love you for this and I’m not joking.
😀
Love this. I have the other problem – people see this 5’2″ petite but curvy woman with a big smile and don’t take me seriously or they think I’m not intelligent. Once, a man in conversation with GMR said the word “genuflect” and then proceeded to turn to me and pointedly explain what the word meant. My mouth hung on its hinges. Now, I’d say something, then I just stared at him. I’ve been called Betty Boop (and eventually began to receive Betty Boop stuff from friends and relatives so it became a joke – my license plate now reads “BOOP”… Read more »
PS – I can’t stop looking at Alan Watts’s picture – what an intriguing face!
Yes! To that age-old conversation starter, “If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?” my answer is Alan Watts. Don’t even have to think about it.
[…] then wrote another blog post called I Am Always Sincere, But Never Serious; and, though I can’t be sure, I felt the new post was speaking to that sense of […]
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